Two SNL comedians finally floated their decommissioned Staten Island Ferry this week after four and a half years of permitting delays — the kind of bureaucratic quicksand that buries ordinary small businesses while celebrity investors wait it out on sitcom money.
Colin Jost and Pete Davidson bought the retired ferry for $280,000 in 2022, planning to convert it into an entertainment venue. The boat sat largely unused for years. Jost himself told PEOPLE in 2024: "It is absolutely the dumbest and least thought-through purchase I've ever made in my life." He justified the gamble by comparing the vessel's 65,000 square feet to New York real estate prices — as if a floating building with no dock assignment is the same as a Manhattan commercial lease.
This week, the ferry hosted a free, one-night-only floating comedy club — its maiden voyage. Davidson told PEOPLE it's "been fun proving people wrong." Jost, sarcastically, said his wife Scarlett Johansson "would love to retire on this ferry." When he first texted her about the purchase — "Guess what? We own a ferry now" — her one-word reply was "We?"
That "we" says everything. The connected class buys assets on a lark. The rest of America signs personal guarantees and loses everything if the permitting office doesn't call back.
Meanwhile, the celebrity ecosystem keeps inflating its own credentials. Over on the Kelce brothers' podcast, Tom Cruise marveled that Taylor Swift was "schooling" him on football strategy — because the pop star, who on her first date with Travis Kelce didn't know that both Kelce brothers played offense, has apparently become a gridiron expert by dating a tight end. CinemaBlend reported that Swift's "expertise has clearly grown" after watching Chiefs games, and suggested she could end up on ESPN commentating.
This is the bubble economy in miniature. Fame and proximity to power substitute for competence. Late-night comedians become property developers. Pop stars become football analysts. And the press covers it all like it's charming rather than symptomatic of an economy where connections matter more than value creation.
Jost joked that the ferry commitment "will be on our joint gravestone." For a working American who sinks $280,000 into a business, that's not a joke — it's a literal possibility. The permitting state doesn't care who you are. It just cares whether you can afford to wait. Most people can't. These two can. That's the story.
