In what many are calling a stunning and brave announcement, Pope Leo has promised the next Cardinal chosen will be a woman of color. Insiders report that a careful reading of tea leaves has opened the eyes of the pope to the fact that there are no Cardinals who are women of color, leading him to promise to rectify the situation. Catholics worldwide were split over the announcement with some saying, "Maybe choosing a pope from Chicago was a bad idea?" and others saying, "Cardinals are actually red birds." Pope Leo had apparently hoped to leave a lasting legacy of ending all wars and making lions lie down with lambs, but as it looks like that might not work out, he's willing to settle for adding a little DEI to the church hierarchy.