In an effort to improve professionalism in the U.S. Secret Service, President Trump has directed the agency to stop recruiting from Waffle House. An investigation following recent knock-down-drag-out brawls among agents has determined that the current recruiting method of sitting in a Waffle House and hiring any able-bodied person who walks in for coffee, steak, eggs, and waffles at 2AM might not be the best idea. It is believed the steaming hash browns served smothered, covered, capped, topped, or "all the way" and waffles available 24 hours a day, while delicious, may attract the wrong crowd. Trump is convinced that even though it may be convenient to recruit agents while eating waffles in the dead of night, it may not be the best strategy. Raising the bar, the Secret Service will now be recruiting new agents at Dennys. But that's not all that happened last week!