With the surprising news breaking that President Biden was severely cognitively impaired during his presidency, many have wondered who then was running the country? Sifting through the records and thousands of hours of video, investigators were forced to conclude that the staff of The Onion was secretly running the country this whole time. Overwhelming evidence uncovered proves that the Biden presidency was an unfunny joke played on the country, characteristic of The Onion. Asked for comment, the editors of The Onion insisted that even though no one laughed, they still thought it was a funny joke. But that's not all that happened last week!