A pair of doofus thieves went through all the trouble of swiping an ATM by tying it to the back of a stolen SUV and ripping it out of a Texas 7-Eleven on Christmas Eve — only to fail to get any cash....

Cardvaark, a shy and tech-savvy anteater, was planned to be the MTA's MetroCard mascot and is now at the New York Transit Museum....

Thousands of sugar-cookie-loving straphangers are swarming the iconic Upper West Side grocery store Zabar's to get their hands on an edible version of the MetroCard as it marches toward its final day....